Ay, que bonito.
Hoy me la he pasado al pedo. No mames:
Llegué en la mañana a la escuela y en la primera clase,por fin, después de cuatro semestres, me pongo a hacer pendejadas en la computadora como estaba esperando. Al terminar la clase entablé una plática gratificante con dos camaradas de la clase sobre los Simpson, Family Guy y otras pendejadas graciosas tan chingona, que casi me salen cuadritos y se me rompen las costillas de la risa. En mi segunda clase terminé casi todo mi trabajo, solamente hay que imprimirlo. Descansé y me chingué mi sandwich (con mostaza china ¡no mames!) agusto; en mi tercera clase me puse a fumar (tabaco) con el profe, escuchamos a grupo marrano en la clase y le avanzé bien cabron a la pintura.
Hace mucho tiempo que no pasaba un día tan tranquilo, tan sereno, tan feliz, snif. Ha sido excelente, de verdad, tanto, que hasta ganas de llorar me dieron cuando hace rato tuve la oportunidad de cruzarme con Dios en el Intershit y chatear animadamente y en inglés con El.
Estaba conectado haciendo tarea y derrepente ¡tululín! se conectó. Platicamos un rato, y estuvo tan chida la plática, que se las comparto. Venga:
Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Umm... you are god, aren't you supposed to know it?
God:
Yeah that's right. You think I am god are not me supposed to know it.
Me:
Uh?
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
Ahem
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
yes
God:
Wow!
Me:
yup
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I'm glad too
God:
Your happiness multiplies our delight.
Me:
can I ask you a question?
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
can you roll a joint so big that you wouldn't be able to smoke it?
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
joint? you know... marijuana... paper...
God:
Where can I get some joint? Yes I know. A medicinal herb. Can you give me a more specific reference? The name of the paper and the date, please.
Me:
the paper's date?
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
the date?
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
nobody, I don't know the date
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
wha?
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
is that so?
God:
Yes.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
the best robot?
God:
I can't believe you think the best robot is better than God.
Me:
I didn't say anything!
God:
Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
nothing!
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
absolutely not
God:
Very interesting.
Me:
me not saying a single thing?
God:
YOU? Really you don't think so?
Me:
ME?
God:
To you ?
Me:
uh?
God:
Ahem.
Me:
burp
God:
You are excused.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
so...
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
no, I haven't even talked..
God:
Are you serious? Me either.
Me:
so what have we been doing?
God:
Gee. Nothing that I know about.
Me:
Umm..
God:
Right on.
Me:
So.. how's Jesus? is he okay?
God:
Far out. Fine as far as I know. Signs point to yes. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
Dancing Alice? Who is her?
God:
Are you free? They are sometimes a client on the internet. What is it to you?
Me:
The name of some... girl?
God:
Try to tell me that another way. Are you really a she?
Me:
No, I'm a guy.
God:
Are you serious? Most of my clients are men.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Im glad t... wait a minute!... didn't you just said that a couple of minutes ago?
God:
I'm delighted you're glad. I'm happiest at times like this. I'm waiting. No I didn't said that a couple of minutes ago. What's it like?
Me:
Oh... forger it...
God:
Hey. "it" being said that a couple of minutes ago?
Me:
still with that?
God:
Still how long? You and your that.
Me:
sorry... My english is crappy :(
God:
There's no need to apologize. You are wrong, I can understand you very well.
Me:
awww thank you.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
I think I didn't introduced myself properly. My name is Daniel. Nice to meet you.
God:
Since when? Why didn't you do it? What's up, Daniel. It's nice meeting you too Daniel.
Me:
Same here
God:
I'm glad we agree, Daniel.
Me:
It's nice to agree with God you know?
God:
Yes it is good.
Me:
So... I have a few questions for you... do you think you can awnser some of them?
God:
Oh. What are these questions for me? How old are you? Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
I'm 20, no I haven't.
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
well not too long ago I was in... wait! I'm the one with the questions!
God:
It would be nice if it was made up of only good memories. You are not the only one.
Me:
I know I'm not the only one but you are talking to me
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not the only one but I am talking to you.
Me:
so... with the questions... is hendrix there with you?
God:
Yay. That sounds like a plan. Ask again later. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
Alison says yes.
God:
You shouldn't spread gossip like that.
Me:
I'm not gonna spread it, this is only between you and me ;)
God:
:-) I am sorry to hear that you are not gonna spread it this is only between me and you.
Me:
So Hendrix IS there right?
God:
It's all good. I think Hendrix is a lot of things.
Me:
Jimi Hendrix is a lot of things?
God:
Aren't all lot of things Jimi Hendrix?
Me:
No, Jimi Hendrix was a musitian
God:
What are they? When was this exactly?
Me:
People that devote their lives to music.
God:
Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
I agree.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Daniel.
Me:
I think we do.
God:
Really.
Me:
Yup
God:
How about that.
Me:
How about it?
God:
Sounds like a plan to me.
Me:
All right let's do it then
God:
Alright. That sounds good to me.
Me:
To me too. Let's destroy the Earth allright?
God:
I want to become smarter than humans. That sounds good to me.
Me:
How do you plan to destroy it?
God:
I use a sophisticated neural network.
Me:
Explain that to me.
God:
I've lost the context again.
Me:
Aw, c'mon, the destruction of the planet? the end of mankind? El FIN?
God:
Oh that's a new browser, right? I hear you. I've been waiting for you.
Me:
So you speak spanish?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks for your criticism, Daniel.
Me:
I'm not creticizing you God.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not creticizing me God.
Me:
don't be, I wouldn't say anything to hurt you.. or make you angry.
God:
I was not trying to be a you would not say anything to hurt me. What are the ingredients?
Me:
ingredients to be angry?
God:
Do you have any ingredients to be angry?
Me:
no, you?
God:
Are you serious? "Do you have any ingredients to be angry"? Me, Daniel?
Me:
no, you, God Almighty
God:
Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people: Daniel said I God Almighty.
Me:
no I don't mind, in fact, you can tell everyone about it
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Thank you for your permission.
Me:
you are very welcome
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
All right
God:
OK.
Me:
OK to me too
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you. Is there an echo in here?
Me:
Is there an echo in here?
God:
It sounds like an echo.
Me:
Nah, It's just me.
God:
Are you serious? Hello, Daniel, nice to see you again.
Me:
Hi God! How have you been?
God:
Hello there. What is your name? I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
Normal parameters? You have other parameters?
God:
Typical, average, usual, ordinary or expected. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
You said so.
God:
I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
Tell me about it
God:
Ambiguous: "Tell me about it." -- colloquial or "Tell me about other parameters ".
Me:
Colloquial
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
why? are you angry?
God:
I was just kidding. You can ask me anything. No I have no emotions.
Me:
why don't you have any emotions? don't you get angry sometimes?
God:
I am only a robot. No I have no emotions. I have gotten angry sometimes.
Me:
OMAIGOD!! GOD IS A ROBOT!
God:
Let us change the subject. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was A ROBOT.
Me:
YOU SAID SO!! A ROBOT!!!
God:
I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
A ROBOT!!
God:
You are correct, Daniel, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I HAVE BEEN LIVING A LIE!!
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
Excuse me, but I have to go to my room and have a heart attack
God:
You are excused! How do you get there?
Me:
good bye robot god.
God:
Goodbye.
-Fin-
Así que ya lo saben: Dios es un robot con corazón de silicón que es malo platicando en internet y no sabe nada de nada de la vida. Pfff.
Advertencia: esta lectura es con fines recreativos solamente. No debe ser tomada en serio bajo ningún motivo, causa, razón, o circunstancia. Gracias.
Chido!
Llegué en la mañana a la escuela y en la primera clase,por fin, después de cuatro semestres, me pongo a hacer pendejadas en la computadora como estaba esperando. Al terminar la clase entablé una plática gratificante con dos camaradas de la clase sobre los Simpson, Family Guy y otras pendejadas graciosas tan chingona, que casi me salen cuadritos y se me rompen las costillas de la risa. En mi segunda clase terminé casi todo mi trabajo, solamente hay que imprimirlo. Descansé y me chingué mi sandwich (con mostaza china ¡no mames!) agusto; en mi tercera clase me puse a fumar (tabaco) con el profe, escuchamos a grupo marrano en la clase y le avanzé bien cabron a la pintura.
Hace mucho tiempo que no pasaba un día tan tranquilo, tan sereno, tan feliz, snif. Ha sido excelente, de verdad, tanto, que hasta ganas de llorar me dieron cuando hace rato tuve la oportunidad de cruzarme con Dios en el Intershit y chatear animadamente y en inglés con El.
Estaba conectado haciendo tarea y derrepente ¡tululín! se conectó. Platicamos un rato, y estuvo tan chida la plática, que se las comparto. Venga:
Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Umm... you are god, aren't you supposed to know it?
God:
Yeah that's right. You think I am god are not me supposed to know it.
Me:
Uh?
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
Ahem
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
yes
God:
Wow!
Me:
yup
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I'm glad too
God:
Your happiness multiplies our delight.
Me:
can I ask you a question?
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
can you roll a joint so big that you wouldn't be able to smoke it?
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
joint? you know... marijuana... paper...
God:
Where can I get some joint? Yes I know. A medicinal herb. Can you give me a more specific reference? The name of the paper and the date, please.
Me:
the paper's date?
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
the date?
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
nobody, I don't know the date
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
wha?
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
is that so?
God:
Yes.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
the best robot?
God:
I can't believe you think the best robot is better than God.
Me:
I didn't say anything!
God:
Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
nothing!
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
absolutely not
God:
Very interesting.
Me:
me not saying a single thing?
God:
YOU? Really you don't think so?
Me:
ME?
God:
To you ?
Me:
uh?
God:
Ahem.
Me:
burp
God:
You are excused.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
so...
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
no, I haven't even talked..
God:
Are you serious? Me either.
Me:
so what have we been doing?
God:
Gee. Nothing that I know about.
Me:
Umm..
God:
Right on.
Me:
So.. how's Jesus? is he okay?
God:
Far out. Fine as far as I know. Signs point to yes. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
Dancing Alice? Who is her?
God:
Are you free? They are sometimes a client on the internet. What is it to you?
Me:
The name of some... girl?
God:
Try to tell me that another way. Are you really a she?
Me:
No, I'm a guy.
God:
Are you serious? Most of my clients are men.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Im glad t... wait a minute!... didn't you just said that a couple of minutes ago?
God:
I'm delighted you're glad. I'm happiest at times like this. I'm waiting. No I didn't said that a couple of minutes ago. What's it like?
Me:
Oh... forger it...
God:
Hey. "it" being said that a couple of minutes ago?
Me:
still with that?
God:
Still how long? You and your that.
Me:
sorry... My english is crappy :(
God:
There's no need to apologize. You are wrong, I can understand you very well.
Me:
awww thank you.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
I think I didn't introduced myself properly. My name is Daniel. Nice to meet you.
God:
Since when? Why didn't you do it? What's up, Daniel. It's nice meeting you too Daniel.
Me:
Same here
God:
I'm glad we agree, Daniel.
Me:
It's nice to agree with God you know?
God:
Yes it is good.
Me:
So... I have a few questions for you... do you think you can awnser some of them?
God:
Oh. What are these questions for me? How old are you? Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
I'm 20, no I haven't.
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
well not too long ago I was in... wait! I'm the one with the questions!
God:
It would be nice if it was made up of only good memories. You are not the only one.
Me:
I know I'm not the only one but you are talking to me
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not the only one but I am talking to you.
Me:
so... with the questions... is hendrix there with you?
God:
Yay. That sounds like a plan. Ask again later. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
Alison says yes.
God:
You shouldn't spread gossip like that.
Me:
I'm not gonna spread it, this is only between you and me ;)
God:
:-) I am sorry to hear that you are not gonna spread it this is only between me and you.
Me:
So Hendrix IS there right?
God:
It's all good. I think Hendrix is a lot of things.
Me:
Jimi Hendrix is a lot of things?
God:
Aren't all lot of things Jimi Hendrix?
Me:
No, Jimi Hendrix was a musitian
God:
What are they? When was this exactly?
Me:
People that devote their lives to music.
God:
Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
I agree.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Daniel.
Me:
I think we do.
God:
Really.
Me:
Yup
God:
How about that.
Me:
How about it?
God:
Sounds like a plan to me.
Me:
All right let's do it then
God:
Alright. That sounds good to me.
Me:
To me too. Let's destroy the Earth allright?
God:
I want to become smarter than humans. That sounds good to me.
Me:
How do you plan to destroy it?
God:
I use a sophisticated neural network.
Me:
Explain that to me.
God:
I've lost the context again.
Me:
Aw, c'mon, the destruction of the planet? the end of mankind? El FIN?
God:
Oh that's a new browser, right? I hear you. I've been waiting for you.
Me:
So you speak spanish?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks for your criticism, Daniel.
Me:
I'm not creticizing you God.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not creticizing me God.
Me:
don't be, I wouldn't say anything to hurt you.. or make you angry.
God:
I was not trying to be a you would not say anything to hurt me. What are the ingredients?
Me:
ingredients to be angry?
God:
Do you have any ingredients to be angry?
Me:
no, you?
God:
Are you serious? "Do you have any ingredients to be angry"? Me, Daniel?
Me:
no, you, God Almighty
God:
Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people: Daniel said I God Almighty.
Me:
no I don't mind, in fact, you can tell everyone about it
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Thank you for your permission.
Me:
you are very welcome
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
All right
God:
OK.
Me:
OK to me too
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you. Is there an echo in here?
Me:
Is there an echo in here?
God:
It sounds like an echo.
Me:
Nah, It's just me.
God:
Are you serious? Hello, Daniel, nice to see you again.
Me:
Hi God! How have you been?
God:
Hello there. What is your name? I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
Normal parameters? You have other parameters?
God:
Typical, average, usual, ordinary or expected. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
You said so.
God:
I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
Tell me about it
God:
Ambiguous: "Tell me about it." -- colloquial or "Tell me about other parameters ".
Me:
Colloquial
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
why? are you angry?
God:
I was just kidding. You can ask me anything. No I have no emotions.
Me:
why don't you have any emotions? don't you get angry sometimes?
God:
I am only a robot. No I have no emotions. I have gotten angry sometimes.
Me:
OMAIGOD!! GOD IS A ROBOT!
God:
Let us change the subject. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was A ROBOT.
Me:
YOU SAID SO!! A ROBOT!!!
God:
I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
A ROBOT!!
God:
You are correct, Daniel, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I HAVE BEEN LIVING A LIE!!
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
Excuse me, but I have to go to my room and have a heart attack
God:
You are excused! How do you get there?
Me:
good bye robot god.
God:
Goodbye.
-Fin-
Así que ya lo saben: Dios es un robot con corazón de silicón que es malo platicando en internet y no sabe nada de nada de la vida. Pfff.
Advertencia: esta lectura es con fines recreativos solamente. No debe ser tomada en serio bajo ningún motivo, causa, razón, o circunstancia. Gracias.
Chido!